Bad News Bears

Bad News Bears 2005

Bad News Bears 2005

Sam – This apparently was a remake of a 1950’s Disney snuff film by the same name.  There’s no way this could have captured the innocence of the original but it was a good try by casting everyone’s favorite daredevil, Billy Bob the Amazing.   I hate this movie and I hate the fact that Billy Bob’s character made that paraplegic kid get out of his wheelchair and “run” the bases when he got that grandslam.  It was believable though just because the first time I ever got a grandslam my ugly, perverted coach made me get out of my wheelchair just so he could watch my sweet, un-toned ass run around the bases jigglin’ like a couple retarded turtles trapped in a wet pillowcase.  Sorry, ladies: I’m married.

Tim – I am not the target demographic for this film. I do not like Sports Underdog films. I don’t like wacky athletes. I don’t like the one fat kid who proves his worth by being able to eat 100 Little Debbie cakes in the showdown with the German steroid enhanced woman…  I don’t like inspirational, last second speeches by the loser coach when he realizes what sports are REALLY about after his tryst with the steroid abusing German woman…  And most of all, I do NOT LIKE slow claps. In the entire history of the universe, no one has ever done a NON-IRONIC slow clap. Slow claps have only ever been used when someone’s drunk buddy tried to hurdle over a mail box.  So, yeah… Bad News Bear… great movie… <ironic slow clap>

Josh – N/A (But I know that he did say he actually LIKED this movie but couldn’t understand how they could show half of the stuff the movie actually featured…)

Things said during movie (not-review):

– “Sam, stop running around and get those turtles out of your pants.”

Published in: on May 12, 2009 at 5:39 pm  Comments Off on Bad News Bears  
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