Code Name: The Cleaner

Code Name: The Cleaner (2007)

Code Name: The Cleaner (2007)

Sean Dove (Special Guest Reviewer!) – When Sam instant messaged me this morning asking me to do today’s review for “Code Name: The Cleaner” my first thought was YES Lucy Liu. My second thought was oh no Lucy Liu. I’m not sure how but she only gets cast in really shitty movies. But I still hold an affection for her in good and bad.

So ok “Code Name: The Cleaner” is the story of Jake played by Cedric the Entertainer he wakes up in a hotel with a suitcase filed with money and a dead FBI agent. You would think that’s an awesome party he had last night, but no he has “amnesia”.

Before we get too far I want to say one thing, I think it’s pretty great that Cedric comes from a family who’s last name is Entertainer. It’s even better that his parents had the guts to make his middle name “The”.

Ok back to the movie, Mr. Entertainer runs in to a girl outside the hotel that says shes his wife, YES! Mr. Entertainer is married to Lucy Liu. Anyway bla bla bla Mr. Entertainer thinks he was a spy or something and there is a video game company and lots of people show up that have no idea what’s going on. Also Mark Dacascos is in it and for some reason they don’t let him really do any martial arts.

I think this is the first Cedric film I’ve seen. All I know is now I really want a film staring Cedric the Entertainer and Kevin James of King of Queens fame. It’s a film about two guys that find out they are brothers. But wait one is white the other is black but they are both super silly and fall down a lot. Now that is comedy.

Oh yeah also “Code Name: The Cleaner” is filled with great one liners like.
“I’m some sorta black Rambo”
“Ok Blambo, lets go!”

To be honest at one point I changed the channel and forgot to turn it back. By the time I did they where showing funny bloopers in the credits.

I give this movie (or what I saw of it) 3 Kevin James out of 5

Daniel Strabley (Special Guest Reviewer!) – Ohhh where to start, where to start… ok, well I guess it begins when Jake Rogers (aka – Cedric the Entertainer) wakes up in bed with a dead FBI agent, a briefcase full of money and, are ready for this… amnesia…

Waking up snuggling with a dead guy in a hotel room with a case of money starts to sound like one of those, “it’s not gay if we both take the roofie” nights but – it’s not. I guess he just doesn’t know what is going on and after what can only be some comedic confusion  he sprints out of the hotel only to run into his upper-class cougar of a wife, which  if you can believe he does not know but decides to play along anyways.

They, Mr. & Mrs. Entertainer, go back to their house which is an elaborate mansion where they consult a doctor about his memory loss to which the doctor mentions some kind of sexual therapy to help him remember what happened –  I’m just as lost as you are – when Cedric overhears this, he flips out and takes off running. Oh! I guess he is also having flashbacks that he is some kind of CIA agent.  Anyways… he goes back to the hotel because returning to the scene of a crime where you quite possible killed a man in your sleep is the smartest idea in the world.

Ummm.. at the hotel he meets Lucy Lu who says she’s his girlfriend… (score)… and she tells him he is a janitor and inserts the only quotable jokes of the movie – she said he’s not “Special Op’s” but “Special Mops” and “Broooom Raider!” which makes no goddamn sense but the good people on YouTube seem to find it hysterical.

After that sonic boom of hilarity Cedric is trying to tell Lucy Lu that he is a special agent. She calls him fat or something then actual agents show up and then Lucy Lu says she’s the special agent all along and Cedric is all like “nu uh” and she was all like “uh huh!” and then there was a big car scene where some shit exploded… then for some reason he is dresses as a Dutchman and then there is a scene where he dances a little bit.

I’m not sure how this movie ended but in the trailer I watched, there were some girls in a hot tub and a car crash so by my best estimate, Cedric the Entertainer is dead… and probably died in some hot tub-car related accident… And he sees dead people.

Thhheee endddd.

Things said during movie (not-review):

Moving is easier when you’re drunk!”

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Published in: on September 16, 2009 at 9:41 am  Comments Off on Code Name: The Cleaner  
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