It’s Complicated

It's Complicated (2009)

It's Complicated (2009)

Sam – HOLY BALLS! I forgot we had this site. That is until I was on the street the other day and some kid came up to me, tugged on my jacket sleeve and when I looked down at the little guy, he said (almost in tears), “Hey Miwster… why don’t you do reviews no mowa?”

He’s right! Why the fuck don’t we do reviews any more? Just cause TBS dropped the ball and none of us are in the same offices anymore? Why should that stop the most influential site known to man? Why should you, the reading public, suffer just because everyone that contributed to this blog before actually WOULD rather be working and are too damn busy to keep reviewing horrible movies? Well, to put it mildly… it’s complicated…

The movie starts out slow but picks up a few minutes in with Glen Close’s character sitting around talking to a living room full of clones of herself. The thing is, they’ve all be raised with slightly different upbringings and variations on the suburban christian cookie-cutter lifestyle. Just ever so slightly that each one of them despises one another for very VERY trivial reasons. The movie continues to show that each one of them has been gunning for the main Glen Close’s ex-husband played by a cyborg that is made to look stunningly like Billy Baldwin if he had had a successful career in acting rather than porn. All of the Glen clones’ plans are disrupted when Steve Martin actually transports himself into every copy of the movie to fight off the Baldwin cyborg in order to save the good Baldwin name as well as something about oil futures and stocks or something. That’s the part I sort of got lost and really only tuned in every time someone did something to embarrass someone over the age of 50.

The end really made me think though and this is definitely up there with Shutter Island as as movie you’ll have to go back and watch at least two times to see what was REALLY happening throughout this mind-fuck of a film. It was only when I watched it a second time that I noticed that Steve Martin was really played by my friend Jill Valentine and that she was begging me to put her out of her misery and turn the movie off. Upon my 15th viewing of the movie I finally talked her out of killing the rest of the cast and she came over to my house to drink some dirty martinis with blue cheese olives. We then watched the movie in the backyard and when it was over, destroyed the dvd with a shovel.

If you spot a copy of this dvd – I suggest you do the same.

Joe Song – It was too complicated for me to understand. Where were the minorities??

Things said during movie (not-review):

– “Seriously, can we turn it off?”

Published in: on October 20, 2010 at 6:07 pm  Comments Off on It’s Complicated  
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